RESOLVING THE LEDGER
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More than any other superhero, Spider-Man is tied to New York. While Superman and Batman have the fictional Metropolis and Gotham, Spider-Man is set in the real world of skyscrapers, cabbies, and, of course, pizza. In 2004’s Spider-Man 2 , Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) even delivered pizza and declared at one point that it was pizza time. But in the new Spider-Man: Brand New Day , you’re much more likely to hear Peter (Tom Holland) murmur “pizza pizza” instead. To put it plainly, Peter eats a ton of Little Caesars, which at first may seem like a strange decision. It’s no secret that there’s a promotional tie-in between the movie and the real-world shop , but the sheer frequency of the presence of the hot-and-ready pizza chain got the A.V. Club staff wondering: Why does Peter Parker eat so much Little Caesars?
He’s got Spider-depression
Only when one is as far as possible from being either hot or ready can one fully lock in and become the target audience of Little Caesars. In Spider-Man: Brand New Day , Peter Parker has successfully erased himself from the minds of the entire world, sequestered himself in an asbestos-ridden attic apartment, and developed a crippling case of Spider-depression. After literal years of torturing himself by watching his former BFF and girlfriend go off and live their dream, why not torture his genetically modified digestive system? On top of that, he’s got nobody to break him out of this downward spiral. He’s a workaholic with no friends and no loved ones. The only people on his speed dial are a beat cop and The Punisher. Not exactly a great support system. The only thing he can rely on, until the events of the film in question, is crappy fast food pizza. Little Caesars, like Spidey’s mountains of protein powder and eye-melting amount of screen time, is a cry for help. [Jacob Oller]
He’s frugal/a Zoomer
Peter Parker is clearly in deprivation mode, which is why he avoids human contact and relies on a delivery app. But it also seems pretty clear that he’s on a very tight budget these days—that spell at the end of No Way Home turned off the Stark Industries tap—which is why he’s turned to Hot-N-Ready pizzas instead of picking up a slice here and there. More bang for his buck! Again, that spell left him without friends or resources; being Spider-Man is all Peter has right now, and director Destin Daniel Cretton has indicated that he’s back building his own tech, which probably requires whatever funds he might get from the job he could get as someone with no verifiable identity. He’s another Zoomer who had to forgo college , and he can’t even commiserate with his cohort. You’d turn to Crazy Puffs too. [Danette Chavez]
He’s not really in New York
New York City prides itself on its slice shops. Cheap, fast, delicious, and if you’re lucky, your local pizza joint has a few fancy house specials of their own. If you must cop out for a national chain that more or less tastes the same from coast-to-coast, it better be because you need more carbs on a budget. But this lack of New York flavor isn’t just in Peter Parker’s choice of ‘za. Instead of filming exteriors in the city or local businesses like Peter Pan Donuts like its predecessor, Brand New Day took a jolly holiday to Pinewood Studios outside of London, leaving all of the New York flavor behind, from our famous skyline that isn’t consistent in this movie to the weird void where there should be endless blocks of homes and apartments. It was disorienting trying to figure out what compressed, wonky streets they were trying to fashion into SoHo––or was it Downtown Brooklyn, which is missing a number of its own famous buildings? The filmmakers paid homage to Parker’s home turf of Queens by showing one half of the Silver Cup Studios’s neon sign he would have passed often on the 7 train into town, but it feels off, almost every facsimile of New York here feels off. This movie’s New York problem extends beyond Parker’s box of pizza. [Monica Castillo]
He’s going for what’s surprisingly convenient
I have not seen Brand New Day yet but I do live in New York and, on occasion, I enjoy Little Caesars. Holding both of these truths, I can also say that never in my five-plus years of living in New York have I consumed Little Caesars within the bounds of the city. This is not some principled position I have—I’ve had Dominos, which I would personally rank lower than Little Caesars—it just hasn’t come up. But I do understand where Peter is coming from. While it’s true that New York is famous for pizza, it’s as expensive as everything else is here. Dollar slices, once a staple of hole-in-the-wall places across Manhattan, are much more likely to cost you at least $1.50 now, if not $3 to $4. My go-to pizza places in Brooklyn—Crown Heights Pizza for takeout, or Lucky Charlie’s in Bushwick for sit-down—are likely to run you close to $30 for a pie, if not more. This is not a reasonable expense for someone with so limited income, at least not on any kind of regular basis. There are more Little Caesars across the boroughs than you might expect, so I can’t downplay the potential convenience, either. [Drew Gillis]
Obviously, he wants to try Little Caesars’ Webberoni Pizza
Like so many in today’s workaday world, Spider-Man has been lured in by Little Caesars’ Webberoni pizza. Frankly, it’s about time. For too long, branded characters have been deprived of the food that bears their image. Does He-Man chow down on Eternia’s Premium Breakfast Slam at Denny’s? (Seriously, like most of America, I have not seen Masters Of The Universe . Does he?) I can confidently say Baby Yoda, whose blue cookies are the basis for something called “Grogu’s Blue Cookie Shake,” does not enjoy the “hyperspace swirl of creamy soft serve blende...
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