RESOLVING THE LEDGER
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See the full story · 1 sourcesThe author said traveling with her in-laws is a win-win. She gets a break, and her kids get to spend time with their grandparents. Courtesy of Sandra Lee.
When we travel as a family, I prefer for my in-laws to join us.
Having them around is great for my kids and gives my husband and me some time to ourselves.
During a family trip to Disneyland, my husband and I walked around enjoying each other's company. No kids asked us for a snack, and we didn't need to split up to go on different rides.
We were on our third trip with my in-laws , my husband's parents. My kids were happy with their grandparents while we got alone time. For once, it really did feel like the happiest place on earth.
This wasn't our first rodeo
I know not everyone gets along with their in-laws, and multigenerational travel has a reputation for being difficult for many. My experience has been the opposite. I'm lucky in that I not only get along with mine but actually prefer trips with them.
I have a long history of multigenerational travel. Growing up, summer vacations were often with my sisters, my parents, and my grandmother.
After marriage and kids, travel was with my kids, my husband, and my parents. Now we often travel with my in-laws.
The author said she finds it easier to travel with her in-laws. Courtesy of Sandra Lee.
I understand traveling with my own parents is fundamentally different from traveling with my husband's parents. With my parents, I naturally fall into the role of their daughter, but with my in-laws, I'm their adult peer. It's a dynamic I've grown to appreciate and enjoy while on trips.
Travel is easier this way
One of the reasons traveling with my in-laws has become my favorite way to travel is that it dramatically reduces my mental load . Before grandparents were involved in family trips, it was up to me to decide who would watch the kids, when everyone ate, and who would stay behind when someone was tired. When my in-laws join us for these trips, there are more adults to make decisions, allowing us to divide and conquer when the kids want to do different things.
But the best part is that my kids can have meaningful time with my in-laws and us. When my husband and I take one of our kids to something the other doesn't want to do, that other kid gets 1:1 time with their grandparents. When I want to go back to the hotel, my in-laws get alone time with their son and their grandkids, a dynamic that is inadvertently shifted when I am in the picture. When we are traveling together as a group, it gives me time to understand them differently outside the normal family setting, bringing us closer. That is such a special perk.
There are some challenges
While in a perfect world, these trips would naturally fall into place, no adjustments needed. But we are not perfect, and traveling with a family of six of different age groups can have its challenges.
Different travel styles, schedule ideas, and time spent together are just some of the many things to keep in mind. I've learned to discuss these things first, get a feel for how the trip will go, and adjust if needed. Our trips work partly because my in-laws are flexible, and I've learned to use that flexibility to keep everything running smoothly.
There is also the issue of parenting differences and money, both of which must be addressed delicately. I find that these can be deal breakers if we're not on the same page. My husband and I make decisions for our kids, but when they are with their grandparents, the grandparents are in charge. We also decide who is paying for what ahead of time, so there are no surprises in the moment.
I learned early on that separate time is helpful, which was the opposite of the format I grew up with, where everyone did everything together on trips. I love giving my in-laws time to create memories with my kids on their own. It's what makes their bond stronger, gives them a different perspective if there is a problem, and gives me time to come up for air.
Since we tend to be more go-with-the-flow, I have found it is helpful to hammer out the major logistics before the trip, including accommodations and an itinerary. If my in-laws pay for the hotel, my husband and I usually pay for any tickets and food.
I thought traveling with my in-laws would make vacations harder. Instead, it's really changed what I think a vacation with kids can be. I'm not just traveling with them because it's practical, but because the kids get memories with multiple generations. I get to experience my own family differently, and that is a beautiful thing.
Read the original article on Business Insider
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