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I lived with my best friend's family in high school after my parents moved out of state
My best friend and I (not pictured) lived together during my senior year of high school. It helped me become a better adult. Worawee Meepian/Getty Images
Growing up, I moved every year between seventh and eleventh grade. By senior year, I was over it.
When my parents moved again, I was able to live with my best friend and stay in my school.
The experience taught me the value of friendship and helped me learn to stand on my own as an adult.
By the time I was heading into my senior year of high school, I had been the new girl for five years in a row.
In the '90s, my parents worked hard and literally followed career opportunities so they could provide for us. For me, though, that meant volatile teen years being jostled between multiple cities in the Midwest .
My junior year in St. Louis had gone pretty well, though. I had already survived puberty with forehead-to-chin acne and frizzy hair by tapping into my inner extrovert to make new friends .
I just wanted to settle into my last year at this high school, where I had a group and felt like I belonged. I couldn't bear another migration, but it wasn't up to me.
As my first day of the last year of high school approached, I felt optimistic. I still remember being at a back-to-school sleepover, singing catchy songs like "Breakfast at Tiffany's" into hairbrushes with my besties, thrilled I had one more year with them.
But I returned home the next morning to find my mom literally packing boxes as she announced we were relocating — again.
In time, my parents reluctantly let me live with my best friend's family
Cristin and I spent a lot of time together as teens. Courtesy of Andrea Javor
I dreaded another first period as the fresh face everyone stared down and threw a fit, refusing to move again. I concocted a plan with my best friend, Cristin, who offered to share her small bedroom with me.
She and I did everything together, and I'd already spent countless hours at her house. Her parents, who already felt like a bonus family to me, agreed as long as we continued to make good grades.
But my parents politely declined, so I got in the car and sobbed as Carole King's "Tapestry" album tortured me on the ride north on I-55 from St. Louis to Chicago.
Eventually, my parents let me move in with Cristin and her family. Courtesy of Andrea Javor
I came home from school every day in hysterics, not making it past the laundry room, sobbing in my plaid uniform. Cristin called me nightly, and we cried on the phone together — I missed her and our minimum-wage jobs at Red Lobster in St Louis.
After two weeks of watching my misery, my parents reluctantly let me move in with Cristin's family on the condition that I return to Chicago to see them at least once a month. I also promised to help out around my new hosts' house so I wouldn't seem like a burden.
I knew I would miss my parents and two younger brothers, but I felt strangely free at 17, driving back to St. Louis with my hair blowing in the wind and a car full of my belongings.
It wasn't always easy to live between 2 addresses
I ended up finishing my senior year in St. Louis with my best friend. Courtesy of Andrea Javor
Picking back up on my studies and friendships was effortless, as though I never left.
School assemblies and free periods felt routine again, and Cristin's family offered a warm, safe home with predictable meal times and evenly divided chores among us and her three siblings.
The house was alive with noise, laughter, and spats over who was in the bathroom too long. Her parents were much more affectionate than mine — always a kiss hello and goodbye — and I was in awe at night as they snuggled, eating ice cream on the couch with all of us kids huddled around on blankets watching TV.
As much as I loved it, I spent several weekends driving my two-toned Mazda 929 the five hours back to see my family, whom I missed. I felt like I equally belonged in both places, yet was missing out on so much trying to ping-pong between them.
Through everything, it was a relief to know I was more adaptable than I thought possible.
Soon, Cristin and I were putting on our caps and gowns for graduation together, and I felt like I was exactly where I should have been.
Cristin and I ended up going to college together, too. Courtesy of Andrea Javor
As I headed to Chicago to live with my family for the summer before going away to college (with Crisitn), I had a fresh mindset.
I realized I took a lot of things for granted that my parents did for me, and that I may want to ease my complaining when asked to clean my room or straighten the shoes in the entryway.
After all, when someone else's parents asked me to empty the dishwasher or do some of those same chores, I happily complied, as I was so grateful to be living with them.
That sort of attitude could go a long way with my own family, too.
Looking back, this experience helped me become a well-adjusted adult and better friend
Cristin and I are still friends decades later. Courtesy of Andrea Javor
That year away from my family pushed me to find independence and agency at a young age, which helped me become a well-adjusted adult .
As I got older, I vowed to always have options for myself. I realized that if I wanted to continue calling the shots in my own life, I would need financial stability — so I strictly prioritized building a steady career .
Perhaps the most important lesson I learned, though, was the value of friendship.
My best friend literally made room in her tiny closet, shared her full-size bed with me for a year, and let me be part of her family so I could enjoy some sense of stability during my formative years.
In a childhood otherwise unmoored, her generosity has been a model for how I show up for people in my adult life.
I'm also happy to share that, several decades later, Cristin and I are still friends.
We meet up once a year in the fall for a road trip to a quaint Midwestern city so we can have a long weekend filled with...
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