RESOLVING THE LEDGER
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See the full story · 1 sourcesWhen Clint Black and Lisa Hartman Black welcomed their only child, Lily, in 2001, the country star made fatherhood his top priority to avoid becoming an "Uncle Daddy."
Black opens up about that decision in his new memoir, "Killin' Time," named after his triple-platinum 1989 debut album. The Grammy winner reflects on his upbringing, his meteoric rise to fame and a career that has included more than 20 million records sold.
The 64-year-old singer told Fox News Digital he came across an interview with Billy Joel, and the "Piano Man" singer's words stayed with him.
CLINT BLACK AND LISA HARTMAN BLACK'S ONE RULE THAT HAS KEPT THEIR MARRIAGE STRONG FOR NEARLY 35 YEARS
"I saw an interview with Billy Joel , and he was talking about being gone too much. He said he'd come home... and he called it being 'Uncle Daddy,'" said Black. "That was long before we knew we wanted a child, but I remember it sticking with me."
In "Killin' Time," Black recalled Joel saying life on the road often left him feeling more like an "Uncle Daddy" than a father. The comment stayed with Black for years and ultimately reshaped how he balanced his career and family.
"I didn't cut out activities completely when Lily was born," said Black.
WATCH: CLINT BLACK EXPLAINS WHY HE REFUSED TO BE AN ‘UNCLE DADDY’
"I did about 15 shows a year just to take care of the band and crew members.... I read a book or two, and I can't remember which one, but the author was talking about secure attachment for a child — who the child feels is their secure attachment, the person they look to in moments of fright. And if you want to be a secure attachment for your child, it's something you earn in the first three years of their life."
"So that was the number," he continued. "Three years of mostly being home, only going out and doing these small bits of work. I did some work at home, working on music... but I was around to be a dad. It wasn't great for my career, but I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't trade a better career for that attachment or the closeness I have with my daughter."
For Black, fatherhood came after years of heartbreak. In the book, he revealed that he and the former "Knots Landing" actress suffered four pregnancy losses before welcoming Lily.
"Trying to have a baby was not something that we had set out to do," he said. "And then, at one point, we realized we had better talk about this and find out where we both stood. And once we decided we wanted to have a child, we really, really wanted to have a child. So when we ran into problems with the miscarriages, it started to hurt. But we kept our hopes up."
"It was still scary getting through it," he admitted. "It wasn't smooth sailing, but it was sailing. We have a 25-year-old daughter now, and she is just a joy."
Black said that when Lily was born, he embraced fatherhood without hesitation.
"I think the biggest lesson I've learned from fatherhood is — I'm tempted to say patience — but I don't think that's it," he explained. "I think it's that I can do a lot more than I thought I could. I could have a career, travel, do all of that, come home, be active as a dad, go to basketball practice, volleyball games and school events."
"Taking her to bouncy playhouses, [watching] 'The Wiggles,' 'Bear in the Big Blue House' and 'Wicked,'" he said with a smile. "All the plays and all that stuff. I wouldn't have thought that I could do it all. But I have, and I've surpassed my own expectations. And that's through devoting myself to her, my wife and being present."
These days, Black is back on the road, and every so often, fans can catch Lily sharing the stage with him.
"I'm still doing 80 to 90 cities a year on tour, taking Lily and Lisa with me at times," he said. "They have toured with me. Those are the best tours."
"It's surprising," he reflected. "I went into fatherhood ready to do whatever it took. But the fear I had was, 'Is this going to be too much? I won't be able to do it all.' But I did."
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Even today, Black said he's still in awe when he watches his daughter perform alongside him.
"Watching Lily perform right next to me on stage took me a while to adjust to," he admitted. "For a while, I was just the adoring father. I had to learn to be a guy in the band playing to an audience and enjoy what she’s doing and seeing her perform so well without having that be my focus on stage. I think it becomes distracting to the audience if they’re watching us, and they’re watching me with a shifted focus."
"But seeing her beside me, it's a gift," he added.
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