RESOLVING THE LEDGER
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Add Page Six on Google Hayden Panettiere recalled trying not to break down in tears as she signed away rights to her daughter at a restaurant in front of a group of strangers.
“I was sitting there with these people, gritting my teeth as hard as I can to not start sobbing,” she shared during a panel discussion for her memoir, “This Is Me: A Reckoning,” in West Hollywood, California, just months before she died.
“And then I just heard them laughing and chuckling, and I was like, ‘I can’t believe you can watch somebody who’s obviously doing one of the most painful things in the world,'" she said, adding that she didn't realize there would be witnesses present during the signing.
The actress subsequently sequestered herself in the bathroom in order to wrap her mind around “the reality of the situation.”
Panettiere — whose father, Alan “Skip” Lee Panettiere, was present for the heartbreaking moment — noted that she had to “be a little careful" when broaching the topic, adding, "I want to make sure I continue to have a beautiful relationship with my daughter."
Elsewhere in the discussion , the "Ice Princess" actress divulged that “The worst thing that somebody said to me is that it was a personal choice that I was making."
She continued, “Who would choose to feel like this? Like, how could you even say that to me? This beautiful child is healthy and everything to celebrate."
The "Nashville" star — who had candidly spoken out about her battle with postpartum depression — explained that she was "completely incapable of doing it," adding, "I felt so guilt ridden that I was incapable of doing it.”
Hayden also looked back on seeing a headline reading, “Why Hayden Panettiere Gave Up Her Daughter," and confessed, “You might as well have taken a knife and stabbed me in the heart."
"If anyone knew me, they [would] know that I would do absolutely anything for my daughter,” the Golden Globe nominee said.
“And sometimes that means not what you want as a mom or what’s going to make you feel good as a parent, but what’s best for them.”
A source told Page Six following her death on Sunday that at the event, “Her speech appeared slow and slurred at times during the book signing,” and that she became visibly emotional at times.
The beloved actress shared daughter Kaya, now 11, with ex-fiancé Wladimir Klitschko, who obtained custody of the child in 2018 as Hayden struggled with postpartum depression and addiction.
The former couple shared a stable co-parenting relationship, with Hayden frequently traveling to Ukraine — where Klitschko was raising Kaya — to see her only child.
The comments about signing over her rights came amid what would ultimately be Hayden's final public appearance.
Per 911 audio obtained by Page Six, on Sunday the former child star was found dead at a luxury apartment complex in Greenville, South Carolina, after an apparent “overdose.”
An autopsy revealed she had no “signs of trauma” at the time of her death. She was 36.
Her family confirmed her death in a heartbreaking statement. “It is with profound sadness that we share the tragic passing of our beloved Hayden,” her father said in the statement.
“She was an incredible light and a force of nature who brought immeasurable love and joy to all who knew her — and to the millions who watched her onscreen.”
Skip asked the public for privacy amid the “unimaginable loss" of Hayden.
Hayden's estranged mother Lelsey Vogel, meanwhile, slammed her on-off boyfriend, Brian Hickerson — who was with Panettiere at the time of her death — in a scathing statement on Tuesday.
“I think Hayden was an amazingly talented person in so many departments,” Vogel told NBC News.
“And I think young people who grow up in the entertainment industry — it is a struggle, and it’s a very challenging industry, and it’s not unusual for them to sadly find the wrong path.”
Vogel added, “This person in her life that we have been trying to get rid of for quite some time was with her at her death. And that was Brian Hickerson.”
If you or someone you care about is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
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