Maria Bamford on Using Mental Illness for Comedy: “I’m Not For Everyone

Maria Bamford says she has more triumphs alongside personal and professional struggles these days.

"The most important thing I like myself. I'm proud of my work," she told The Hollywood Reporter backstage before going on to perform at the Just For Laughs comedy festival on Saturday night in Montreal. But for a likable, idiosyncratic comic whose mental health struggles and deepest fears have been at the heart of her comedy for three decades, Bamford prefers audiences should know what they're in for before she steps out in front of them. Related Stories TV Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias Says Comedy Is About "Making People Smile, Making People Laugh" TV After Atsuko Okatsuka Came to America, Social Media Knocked Down Barriers to Global Reach

"I'm not for everyone. I'm not a crowd pleaser," explained Bamford, ever the self-deprecating actress and comedian and long an idolized member of the alternative comedy circuit. Her struggles — with depression, bipolar disorder and hypomania, among others — provided material for Judd Apatow and Neil Berkeley's Paralyzed by Hope: The Maria Bamford Story documentary that bowed at Sundance, before landing on Netflix.

Bamford is grateful to Apatow, a fan of her comedy, for making a film about her. And she got to see her late parents on screen, and see much of her own comedic material transferred to the big screen.

But, with Bamford, who has always asked audiences to take pleasure in her complicated pain and been wary of those who might not or don't, there's always a but. "To me, I've whatever story of mental health stuff so many times before. I'm a little embarrassed. I just go, okay, it's not that interesting a story," she said.

Apatow, Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos, who personally greenlit Lady Dynamite, the surreal comedy based on Bamford's life that ran for two seasons, and her legion of other fans beg to differ. This being Hollywood, however, Bamford is guarded over praise as its can be short-lived and fame and fortune can't make up for ongoing struggles.

"I started going to Al-Anon with the 12-step program for how to deal with alcoholism because I had a hard time with show business, where it's 'we love you! Shut up! Go away, can't remember your name," she explains. If anything, Bamford keeps doing her act to stay above water.

"People have eyes on me if I start talking too fast and have some shit ideas or if I'm talking like, what if I walked into a bus?" she explained. And if the right audience is primed, her surreal performances can be eye-opening and even cathartic for many.

"There's something of the communal sharing that's just great. You can go to see comedy or watch a TV show and the characters talk about something and then you go, 'Hey, that was so crazy, what we just watched. What if I had something like that?' So it's a representation of the full human experience," she added.

Bamford, seeing herself at the mercy of audiences, also prefers they be in smaller venues over stadiums and remain sober when the spotlight falls on her. And while performing, she focuses on those smiling and laughing in the front rows to stay on the right side of success or failure.

"I'm not going do well at the Laugh Factory, at a late night spot. I'm going to tank. Oh my God, I have far too many words. A lot of (my act) is passive aggressive. I'm not clearly stating my point of view," she explained. Her comedy industry renown may well be down to everyone who goes to work each day knowing successes and struggles, depending on the day.

Bamford just wears a lot more protective armor going into battle in a line of work that requires sharp-elbowed focus and determination to succeed in. "You know, I don't want to put myself in a place where I'm getting my feelings are hurt… and I always say, maybe it's a protective thing, but I realize my business plan isn't perfect," she added.

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